One, Two, Five
A comment on one of my postings recently said that only about 30% of Dutch people went to university. I couldn't believe this, so did some digging. In fact, the situation is even worse! Only about 20% of Dutch people between 19 and 23 are in full-time education. That's staggering!
Though when you reflect upon it, perhaps it's maybe not so surprising after all...
Traditionally, universities are places where you go to learn new things, as well as to broaden your horizons and prepare for adult life. As most Dutch people don't value learning, culture or novelty; hate different things and people; and are terrified of any form of change or evolution, perhaps it is not surprising that so few of them go on to study anything and go straight from high school to sick leave.
I live in the centre of Amsterdam village, quite close to Amsterdam 'University'. I was intrigued to find out more, so managed to get into the English faculty and found the following excerpts from an English degree exam paper.
AMSTERDAM UNIVERSITY
FACULTY OF ENGLISH
You have invited a friend for dinner and need to buy a herring at the fishmonger.
Complete the following gaps with the word or words you believe most appropriate.
Time Allowed: 8 hours
"Dooooook! Oy! __! I would like to buy a _____!"
"That is not ___________. You must buy at least 5 herrings at a time."
"But I only want ___!"
"That is not _________.""
"Why not?!"
"________ are lekker: everyone knows that."
"OK - better give me 5 _______."
"We are out of _________, but we do have some salmon."
"Why didn't you just say you had no herrings! OK - better give me the salmon"
"It is not my _________________! I only sell herrings!"
"Well can I speak with the person who sells _____?"
"That is not _________"
"Why not?!"
"He has a cramp. He is on long-____ sick leave."
"Maybe you ____ sell me the salmon?"
"It will take too much ____"
"_____ you could pretend the salmon is a big, pink herring?"
"That is not ________"
"I want to speak to someone else!"
"_____ will not help ___"
6 comments:
Su-bloody-perb. That had me in stiches.
Keep up the good work.
This is the best, concise and detailed guide to the Nether"land" and "culture"!!!
I wish I had your writing skills and style.
This is the best concise and detailed guide to the Dutch "land" and "culture"!!!
priceless, absolutely priceless.
again, bravo!
class!
I know of colleague's neighbourg, not yet 30 y.o. and already on sick-leave!!! Apparently she has some problem with one of her wrists which seems to be enough in this country to be considered 100% handicapped...amazing! It's so funny how many of us (expats living in this fake society) have encountered similar situations, if not exactly the same. There is definitely and objectively something wrong with this country and many of its people...
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