Monday, August 28, 2006

Droopy

Another beautiful Summer's Day in Amsterdam! It's warmer in Murmansk (in Siberia) and in Minsk. And yes I did check.

Have you noticed how Dutch people are unable to form a line or queue? That unless they are herded into a specific line formation, they will amble around aimlessly and try to shove their way to the front of any line?

Worst of all, it seems, are older Dutch women. They are not the kindly, matronly women I remember from my youth, but perpetually cross, disappointed-looking women, the corners of whose mouths are permanently downturned from years of scowling, complaining and tanning; with a shock of chemically treated orange hair. Kind of like the cartoon dog, Droopy - remember him?

At any counter or desk, people will mill around, elbows out, jaws jutting. This morning at Centraal Station, I had a spare 40 minutes to kill, so thought I would try to get a cup of coffee-sludge. There were about 11 people bobbing around in front of the counter, in no obvious formation. Just as I was about to get 'served', an extremely angry-looking Dutch woman shouldered me aside and started waving at the person behind the counter, shouting her order. The poor, bewildered server stood there blinking, not sure what to do.

How about saying "Whoa there Droopy! Wait your turn!!" As that's about as likely as a Dutch person offering to stand a round of drinks, I turned to the woman and said "Sorry - I was here before you" and continued to give my order. Her eyes bulged, her chemically treated hair stiffened, her mouth creased ever-further downwards at each side. She shouted again to the server which confused him even more. He stood there, making gargling noises in his throat, mouth agape, looking from one of us to the other. So I turned around to Droopy and said "Listen - I've been waiting here for longer than you. Wait your turn!"

So now I'm the person remonstrating with a stranger in the middle of Centraal Station - what is my world coming to? Droopy scowled and muttered, but backed off and waited her turn. As I was leaving she shouted after me, in Dutch (somewhat pointless, don't you think?). As I glanced back, she was literally shaking her fist at me. I mean, come on! Apart from cartoons, have you ever seen anyone actually shake their fist at someone? If she had a pitchfork, I'm sure she'd have waved that too.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Funnily enough, something really similar happened to me today while I was trying hard to pay for using the pool at the local sport center, the cashier was moving really slooowwwly and 'Mrs Droopy' did fit your description...the whole thing tool like 15 min!
For the rest I find your blog really amusing. Had not laughed like that in a while...