Al-turd Heijn
Remember those days when you could visit the supermarket when it really was super? I never thought I would miss schlepping around Sainsburys or Tescos, but those trips seem like a visit to Fortnum & Mason, or Dean & Deluca, compared to the horrors that are endured at Albert Heijn.
First of all, did the people who ran GUM and other Communist department stores in Russia take over at Albert Heijn once the Berlin Wall came down? What's with the queues, food coupons and bread shortages? Or the insistence on trying to sell stuff that is clearly past its sell by date? Not subjectively: it says so on the label.
If you pick up any of the cheese at the deli counters at Albert Heijn, take a close look at the label. 9 times out of 10, its sell-by date has already expired. If you ask the dynamo working behind the counter why they're selling gone-off cheese, they'll first try to insist that it isn't, and that the sell-by date is advisory only. Thank God for EU food-labelling regulations is all I can say. When you object and say "well - I'd prefer some fresh cheese, and I don't plan on savaging it all in one go with 12 doorstep slices of bread, so could I get some that has 3 or 4 days left to run before its expiry date?" the shrugging and head-bowing begins. Back to the Friesian behaviour.
The stuff you want is never there - unless you want super-salty, processed, gloop. Everything is price-led: there is no emphasis on freshness or quality. But who cares when you can buy beefburgers made from donkeys' balls for €0.20?
The most shocking thing, however, is Hamster Week. Have you seen/experienced it? This is the week in which every Dutchie descends trying to scoop up some bargain as deep discounting begins. It's called Hamster Week because - get this - Dutch people like to hoard during this week of cheapness to the extent that it's reminiscent of a hamster's cheeks stuffed, bulging with bounty. Can you imagine that? Who is the marketing executive who came up with this idea? Why does it not stop the Dutchies from flocking to the store? Can you imagine any other nation putting up with this: "Cutomers! We think you're like cheap, greedy, rodents! Come on in!"
4 comments:
fyi, the dates on the cheese and meat at the deli counter at AH arent the sell by date, they're the date they were packed. usually the same day, or the day before. so if you find cheese dated today, that means you cant get anything fresher.
Ok so maybe I am being a bit anal, but I did double check at the supermarket today and the label defintiely says 'best before'/'ten minste houdbaar tot'... I genuinely think the food in AH is pretty gross
The saddest thing is Albert Swine is the best we have in Holland - have you ever tried going inside a Dirk vd Broek, Aldi or Vomar??? The positive side is that it keeps ones weight down as the supermarkets here can actually put you off food!
I've taken to dropping the rotten/out of date food on the floor in my local Swine, as I don't think another person, or even a Dutchie, should have to eat rotten food.
Nobody has stopped me and tried to remonstrate with me yet, but I live in hope :-)
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