Wordsh Will Help You!

Note: in the interests of balance and fair comment, today's blog posting has been made by a Dutch guest editor

Doooooooooooook! Oy! Oy!

Everyone in the world knowsh 2 things: (1) that Holland is the greatest country in the world; and (2) that Dutch people are the besht at everything! All who live here are lucky! Everyone in the world shecretly wishes they are Dutch! Dutch is the most beautiful language in the world! William van Shakespeare is a Dutch! So is the shinger Van Morrisson! The world comes to Holland! That's why the country is so crowded! But there are not so many problems. Everyone is happy. Everything is lekker!

It is not true that we do not have shervishesh here! I go to Febo for my dinner and can pick my own food! In restaurantsh, I am allowed collect my own menu, search out my own drinks, carry my own plate! In shopsh, I can look at picturesh of things I can have in my house in 7 monthsh! Now that is shervish!

It is a lie we do not have food that is lekker! Julienne of bitteballe, with cabbage confit and jus de herring is my favourite!!

Even though Dutch are the greatesht at everything and all other people are shits, we are very modesht and egalitarian! No-one is allowed to be flashy in Holland and show trappings of wealth. This is because we are all the shame! (well, exshept the outsiders from other landsh). It is nothing to do with us being bitter and reshentful that other people may shucksheed by not shitting on their arshe!

We are not rashist here! I even have a black friend, Sooty! Sometimes, I eat oranges that come on boats from black countries! If I was rashsist, I would not be able to peel them!

I don't undershtand why the foreigners think we are humourless and aggreshive?! It is shimply not true! If you don't like it here, why not fuck off?!!

Doooooooooooooook! Oy! Oy! Austublieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeft!