I Want Money For Doing Nothing
Hello! And welcome to 'I Want Money For Doing Nothing', the top-rated Dutch quiz show which gives YOU the opportunity to do exactly what you've always wanted: get lots of money.... for doing nothing!
Regular viewers will know how simple the rules are! A series of 'moral dilemmas' are posed to our contestants. Those who guess the answers correctly, based on our survey of 100 Dutch people, wins the round! First to 3 rounds wins!
Let's meet our contestants! First up is Elisabeth, she's 43 and works at a tanning salon. What's that? You're 23? I'm so sorry, forgive me! We also have Peter who is on long-term, stress-related, sick leave from his job as a hand model. Finally, we have Marieta, who works as a waitress in Amsterdam. Er.... where is she? .... Hold on, I've just been told that she is very busy and will be with us in another 6 hours!
OK - let's get started! Scenario 1: you see an old person wandering and disoriented. They are clearly distressed and confused. The question is: what do you do?
Elisabeth - go through their pockets?!
Peter - pressurise them to sign a will leaving everything they own to you?!
Peter! That's excellent. 98% of the Dutch public agree with you! You're 2 steps from the money!
OK - Scenario 2. You have 2 friends who each helps out with a charity and has asked you to help with door to door collections. One collects for famine relief. The other collects for rehabilitation of Dutch paedophiles. The question is: what do you do?
Elisabeth: the paedophiles, of course!
Peter: do both on alternate days, then take the money?!
Oh! Bad luck Elisabeth! Peter's just shaded that one with 75% of Dutch people agreeing! Peter - you're just 1 step from the money! Elisabeth - come on! You need to start fighting back here!
It's time for Scenario 3. You are walking in the centre of Amsterdam when you see an immigrant distressed: their house is on fire and their children are trapped inside! The question is: what do you do?
Elisabeth, you go first here - and remember, go with your instincts. What do you think most Dutch people would do?
Elisabeth: eat a herring?!!!
Peter: it's a trick question! An immigrant would never be allowed to live in the centre of Amsterdam!
Oh Peter! You've done it again and you're our winner! You've won €5! Well done!
Join us next time for more "I Want Money For Doing Nothing". Or you can catch Peter again as he'll automatically go on to our other exciting show "I Wish I'd Never Got Money For Doing Nothing Because If I Try To Spend It, People Will Think I'm Showing Off".
Good night!
6 comments:
I think this is soooooo not objective of you! Do you hate the Netherlands and the Dutch?
Greetings,
Ketjapislekker
This blog just gets better and better!
Keep going...
hehehe.
Having just escaped the horror that is Holland, I can now read your blog and laugh heartily.
its funny, now I no longer have to be there, and deal with the dull, delayed, insane clogs and their 'pretend' country.
Wow, I think there's someone who is more wound up about the Dutch than I am!! :-)
Brilliant! Your blog saves me having to verbalise the crap that happens to me everyday - I would say when is the book being published but nobody would believe you unless they actually experienced it - and the Dutch certainly wouldn't have it on their shelves .....
Superb. Keep up the good work - it's fantastic to see other people coming across the same issues and realising that you're not going insane.
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