Nutjob Records

It's Sunday afternoon. I was out walking. I was feeling a bit guilty about this blog, thinking maybe I was being a bit too harsh on the Dutch. Ah, the irony....

I passed a second hand record store and decided to go in and browse. I'm 34 years old. Let's say I've been independently, economically active for about 18 years and that, on average, I'm in a shop or other retail outlet 6 times a day. That's 2,190 times a year. Or 39,420 times in the past 18 years. For the first time in those nearly 40,000 visits, today I was thrown out of a shop.

My crime? Well, rashly, I had decided to browse for records in the er... record shop. Over about 25 minutes, I picked out 5 records and took them to the turntable to listen; standard practice for the scores of vinyl stores I've been in all over the world. I even checked the sign written on the turntable: "no more than 5 records per customer" and decided things should be ok. I put on the headphones and began to listen...

It was when I was listening to the second record that the owner appeared at my shoulder, purple-faced with rage, the veins in his forhead bulging. He shouted something at me in Dutch. I said "Sorry - I don't speak Dutch. Is there a problem?"

Nutjob: "GET OUT!!! GET OUT!! YOU ASK FIRST!!!!!"

Me: "Excuse me? Sorry - I wanted to listen to the records to make sure they're ok and not scratched before buyin..."

Nutjob: "IT IS NOT POSSSSSSSSSSHIBOLLLLLL!!! GET OUT!!!!!!!!"

With that, he snatched all the records off me and pointed to the door, his eyes bulging and flecks of spittle forming in the corners of his mouth. There were 2 other customers in the shop, both English, who were just looking on in disbelief. They exited immediately after me.